When pleasure gives way to the biological clock

When a couple wants a baby, the couple does whatever it takes to make it happen. Fucking and the pleasure of orgasm very often become secondary and conceiving a baby becomes an obsession. It’s this famous “biological clock” that people talk about. As if women were cuckoos who suddenly start walking, in missionary mode. The days and hours of ovulation are numbered and the spontaneity of the act is forgotten.

For the woman this passage also happens a lot through talking with friends who have to give their opinions. Everyone tells their version, their story, which doesn’t help and adds to the stress of the situation. For some, it’s simpler than for others. But the couple in these moments is not looking for pleasure and isn’t that what should be at the center of the action? Love becomes fucking, pleasure and desire give way to a need. The couple gets lost as to the basis they should find themselves in a most intimate moment which is to start a family.

For centuries, the transition from woman to mother has been seen as an exchange of good practices. The sexualized woman remains the one who is not married and who considers love as pleasure. When a woman becomes a mother, pleasure gives way to obligation. But where does that leave the couple when the children are there? does a couple manage to find themselves between the obligations of being parents and that of being a man and a woman? Is becoming a mother equivalent to forgetting to be a woman? This essential question raises the problem that modern women face. The consequence of this is the average age of the first child which rises every year in our European societies. The woman wants to remain an object of desire for as long as possible, without constraint. Hence the ambivalence of this famous biological clock.